i never believed in political parties... my first vote was in 2005, presidential election... i voted for Mahinda, simply because i didn't want to vote for a joker and believed that who ever i vote for should be a person whom i can respect... most of the people around me are UNP, argued and tried to convince me, mock at me or laugh when i said im voting for the current President. Today i'm more than glad for NOT voting a joker or a traitor who goes and conducts peace talks with Norway when his own country is celebrating...
I have friends who say, celebrations are way too much and people are crazy to dance around like this... But isn’t that because no one cares even to look back to think of the terror and tension most of the citizens in this country faced...For the past two years thousands of soldiers died, thousands of homes were funeral houses, with more than millions of people filled with tension when listening to news everyday to hear the situation in North... Most of us are lucky, we have vehicles, never go in buses or trains and have mobiles with us, and were only worried about the economy in the country and how business gets affected; some left the country is because they wanted a "better life"...
But in the same country there were millions of people who were scared to death till their families come home because in Sri Lanka, most of us still go by bus and trains and don’t have mobiles... They, the true Sri Lankans Celebrate today... they make kiribath, take national flags, light crackers and dance in the streets... they had tears in their eyes when they celebrate because more than most of us, they suffered from terrorism and fear and they know how it feels to be FREE today..
The upper middle class along with upper social elite consists of 28% of the population in this country... That 28% represents the best in the business world, the best in professionals and the best in education... Why is it so hard for the "best" to take a moment to be happy and smile at the rest of US who are truly happy and celebrating... Why cant they just give credit to the forces who sacrificed their lives to make today a reality…. all talks of DNA reports being false and prabakaran is still alive and the government bluffing is fine and accepted if they are LTTE supporters... But as true Sri Lankans who were born and raised should owe this country at least to keep their mouths shut!!!
Whatever the talks were in town, President should be given credit for being a leader who had the strength to reject all influences and threats which came his way from strong and dynamic countries.. Its amazing how he could stand by the decision he made despite all contrivances created around the world.. Praise needs to be given where it’s needed irrelevant of the parties... It was very shameful to see many opposition leaders saying various things insulting the forces at parliament premises which were rapidly followed by the rest of the so called "BEST" in this country...
Why Sri Lanka is not developed today, is NOT only coz of the war which was there for the past 3 decades. It was also coz there are many egoistic pigs out of the 28% who always believe in one belief, deaf to others and never gives credit for what it deserves. They say "change is inevitable" but looks like some % of SL still don’t know how to adopt and at least try to THINK about someone else apart from themselves for a change!!!
This country is never going to get developed as long as MYSELF comes before MY COUNTRY & MY NATION...
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
When it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?
“Why is it that we only seem to believe the negative things people say about us, no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary? A neighbor, a face, an ex-boyfriend can cancel out everything we thought was once true. Odd, but when it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?”
How often does what others say about you matter? Most of the times, when we hear something good about us, we feel good and when we hear something wonderful, we feel flattered. Apart from feeling great always the thought behind all the flattery is “ok whats going on?”
I have been a person who always welcome constructive criticism (lets say most of the times) and have been a person who only thinks compliments are 100% genuine when its from someone who really cares about you… when the rest of the world compliment, well either there is a need to start a conversation or a favour or its just a part of a simple gesture.. (how do I know this? Coz I do it all the time to strangers… wink… well it should be at least 70% true. So no harm in a 30% of exaggeration right?) Also I have this ugly habit of being bluntly honest to the people whom I care about most… My dad still doesn’t get me, when I give my honest opinion he thinks I see fault in everything and gets all DEFENSIVE. But that’s not the case, its better to hear it from your daughter than hearing it from a complete stranger… I’m lucky atleast most of the people around me think the same way I do.
What happens when you are being given the worst review? Knowingly or unknowingly we tend to believe it atleast a little bit… My question is how much affected are you from it? if its LOVE and if it comes from a loved one of yours, it is really difficult to absorb and forget… I’ve seen people take ages to get over the things which has been said irrelevant of the % of honesty in it. Sometimes you never get over certain stuff which has been told to you. Is it because we believe the worst review on us or is it the person who gave us the review?
How much affected are we going to be on it? are we going to change ourselves for the worst review despite of all great ones you received? Then matters the person who gave the worst review and the reasoning behind it. If that person is close, then fine we have to deal with it. If not, who has the right to be so judgmental on someone else’s life? Earth is full of homo sapiens and the difference I see between them and animals are that animals never judge someone else’s life…
When the worst review is given, although you believe the best is to clear how well the judge knows you. How well the facts are taken into consideration in being judgmental (I mean facts not rumors) If 90% of the judges are being optimistic and 10% pessimistic (worst case scenario), with consideration on how much the judge has absorbed YOU, forget the 10%. After all in a world of oxygen being 78% and still living on, who cares about a shitty 10% of bad reviews???
“Are we being too quick to judge judgment? Maybe judgment is not so much a snap decision as an early warning and detection device. If it is instantly clear that a person, a place, or even a profession is not for you, is it better to ignore your better judgment and believe the worst? Or, should you judge a book by it's cover?”
How often does what others say about you matter? Most of the times, when we hear something good about us, we feel good and when we hear something wonderful, we feel flattered. Apart from feeling great always the thought behind all the flattery is “ok whats going on?”
I have been a person who always welcome constructive criticism (lets say most of the times) and have been a person who only thinks compliments are 100% genuine when its from someone who really cares about you… when the rest of the world compliment, well either there is a need to start a conversation or a favour or its just a part of a simple gesture.. (how do I know this? Coz I do it all the time to strangers… wink… well it should be at least 70% true. So no harm in a 30% of exaggeration right?) Also I have this ugly habit of being bluntly honest to the people whom I care about most… My dad still doesn’t get me, when I give my honest opinion he thinks I see fault in everything and gets all DEFENSIVE. But that’s not the case, its better to hear it from your daughter than hearing it from a complete stranger… I’m lucky atleast most of the people around me think the same way I do.
What happens when you are being given the worst review? Knowingly or unknowingly we tend to believe it atleast a little bit… My question is how much affected are you from it? if its LOVE and if it comes from a loved one of yours, it is really difficult to absorb and forget… I’ve seen people take ages to get over the things which has been said irrelevant of the % of honesty in it. Sometimes you never get over certain stuff which has been told to you. Is it because we believe the worst review on us or is it the person who gave us the review?
How much affected are we going to be on it? are we going to change ourselves for the worst review despite of all great ones you received? Then matters the person who gave the worst review and the reasoning behind it. If that person is close, then fine we have to deal with it. If not, who has the right to be so judgmental on someone else’s life? Earth is full of homo sapiens and the difference I see between them and animals are that animals never judge someone else’s life…
When the worst review is given, although you believe the best is to clear how well the judge knows you. How well the facts are taken into consideration in being judgmental (I mean facts not rumors) If 90% of the judges are being optimistic and 10% pessimistic (worst case scenario), with consideration on how much the judge has absorbed YOU, forget the 10%. After all in a world of oxygen being 78% and still living on, who cares about a shitty 10% of bad reviews???
“Are we being too quick to judge judgment? Maybe judgment is not so much a snap decision as an early warning and detection device. If it is instantly clear that a person, a place, or even a profession is not for you, is it better to ignore your better judgment and believe the worst? Or, should you judge a book by it's cover?”
Monday, April 27, 2009
its oshani's BIG day.....
prologue
we have dreamed about the perfect wedding in the perfect dress ever since we saw the first wedding in life….
Not knowing the meaning of the word WEDDING, we played “THE BIG WEDDING” with our favourite dolls and teddy bears, when we started growing up we still used to play with Barbie and ken….
Later when we started realizing little by little what it meant, we started loving the dream more and dreamt of every detail even more….
Today is your dream day, the favourite day u waited for so long is finally here…
Today you will walk down the aisle with HIM to share the rest of your life together…
you will change your name today, your father will be giving you away…
and u will be building your own home from today…
things will change and will never be the same as it used to be but only better…
in one corner of your heart u will miss ur life u had for the past 24 years…, memories will cherish our favourite & funniest moments in life which we spent as best friends together…..
epilogue
I said we dreamed of the perfect day with the perfect man... but boom.. it is one hell right out there... not the marriage, but everything u have to do to make the BIG DAY perfect...
Lots of running up and down, specially IF the lift is broken... or u have this notion that it might break down on your best friend's wedding and u will be trapped inside... (not that I'm always crazy but that lift was very antique: so couldn’t take the risk)
Non stop photography and making sure u SMILE to each one of it, wearing a skin tight saree jacket which u cant breath in… and the list goes on… but at the end of the day, I look at my friend who is very happy and glowing.. and I realized maybe its worth it… worth the effort to make that dream come true… it was self fulfilling even for all of us who were close with the couple watching them say “I do”….
Later that day I got to think about love, marriage and relationships. True I don’t have much experience to talk about it: but I’ve seen many go steady, fall apart, building back and so forth. Some u just know when u see it, that “its meant to be” and most of the time with yourself and your closest friends your GUT feeling or notion becomes just correct. Like to the two who just got married. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the U, you love, well, that's just fabulous.
“Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so does everything, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, just a phone call away”
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Lessons learnt...
Tom Bodett once said “The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson” I have no clue who Tom is but this quote kept haunting in my head and kept me wondering about some of the lessons I’ve learnt in life recently…
Sometimes the silent is the best way to answer… Talking and arguing will work only if the same mentality is shared, if the levels of thinking differs from the changes of perception arguing or reasoning would not work at all… some people say “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool then to speak out and remove all doubt”
Sometimes When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. We feel that we can be rude and moody to the people whom we are very close with and they will understand.. But why hurt someone you care about? I’ve realized if you feel crappy about something and have to dump it on somebody who is a complete stranger… Don’t hurt the ones you care for, you never know how deep you have hurt them and by the time you feel guilty and try to mend, its too late…
Sometimes you always have to keep proving yourself constantly to people for them to have faith and belief in you… But I’ve realized the best way is not to bother to prove yourself right for people who cant trust you and understand you.. People who do not trust you never will, and who wouldn’t make the effort to understand will never understand either… Unless that person is truly valuable for you where you have to go that extra mile to clear the doubts…
Sometimes the hardest thing is to LET GO… letting go of someone seems difficult and takes away more time for us to recover, and probably all the energy we have... But if that person makes a move to go, then you have no right to stop… Coz everybody has a right to make their own move… similar to the quote “If you love something set it free if it comes back its yours if not it was never meant to be” (not always true) I’d say if you love something hang on to it till it decides to be free… LOL.. the day it decides to be free you have no choice than letting it free..
Sometimes we always make the extra effort to be nice to complete strangers… why bother? (I mean its wonderful to be nice for everybody: I meant for exceptional cases like me who cant make the effort to be nice to everybody) I’ve realized make that extra effort to the ones you love and care for… True that there is a chance they might take you for granted but after all its worth all the effort…
Sometimes pride overrules love??? All my friends say this to me but I guess I still haven’t learnt my lesson for this… “It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride”
People who know me well will say that I need to practice what I preach… and agreed whole heartedly… But sometimes it needs to hit you on the head to learn the lesson…
Sometimes the silent is the best way to answer… Talking and arguing will work only if the same mentality is shared, if the levels of thinking differs from the changes of perception arguing or reasoning would not work at all… some people say “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool then to speak out and remove all doubt”
Sometimes When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. We feel that we can be rude and moody to the people whom we are very close with and they will understand.. But why hurt someone you care about? I’ve realized if you feel crappy about something and have to dump it on somebody who is a complete stranger… Don’t hurt the ones you care for, you never know how deep you have hurt them and by the time you feel guilty and try to mend, its too late…
Sometimes you always have to keep proving yourself constantly to people for them to have faith and belief in you… But I’ve realized the best way is not to bother to prove yourself right for people who cant trust you and understand you.. People who do not trust you never will, and who wouldn’t make the effort to understand will never understand either… Unless that person is truly valuable for you where you have to go that extra mile to clear the doubts…
Sometimes the hardest thing is to LET GO… letting go of someone seems difficult and takes away more time for us to recover, and probably all the energy we have... But if that person makes a move to go, then you have no right to stop… Coz everybody has a right to make their own move… similar to the quote “If you love something set it free if it comes back its yours if not it was never meant to be” (not always true) I’d say if you love something hang on to it till it decides to be free… LOL.. the day it decides to be free you have no choice than letting it free..
Sometimes we always make the extra effort to be nice to complete strangers… why bother? (I mean its wonderful to be nice for everybody: I meant for exceptional cases like me who cant make the effort to be nice to everybody) I’ve realized make that extra effort to the ones you love and care for… True that there is a chance they might take you for granted but after all its worth all the effort…
Sometimes pride overrules love??? All my friends say this to me but I guess I still haven’t learnt my lesson for this… “It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride”
People who know me well will say that I need to practice what I preach… and agreed whole heartedly… But sometimes it needs to hit you on the head to learn the lesson…
Monday, March 16, 2009
cHaOs WiTh LeOs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last September, things were great (i was thinking of using the word PERFECT, but things were never perfect with us: not in a bad way but who can expect perfection from a bunch of crazy nut cases???) What happened afterwards? Bites me...
Punctuality was never a key-word among us Leos, but being fashionably late was getting irritable with only few people working on time (the only few who worked on time followed the trend of being LATE) waste of time and effort reached its highest level and at certain times i realized its not only effort and time but my commitment has gone to the bin too...
The capacities of us are different, i'm not over-estimating ourselves but i feel the team we have is extraordinary and are blessed with many talents. We just need to put them right across to one FOCUS and sure we can do wonders. (I don't think many know that most clubs really envy us:) god knows for what reason but i always felt cos the bond we had within us which was truly seen by anyone who knew us)
What lies beneath and what really happened still bugs me. Most of us decided & made judgments after the project in December: the carols. i.e. when i realized that the commitment given by everyone is not the SAME. Like i said before we're of different talents and we have different ways of doing things but to work as a team we need the commitment EQUALLY. It may not necessarily be 100% but even if it is 50%, everybody should put in their 50%.
I still don't understand why i was accused of being a "de-motivation" to others where as i did my part for the project. I promised to find places to go and i found places where we can go and sing. (correct me if i'm wrong) But if everyone needs to do everything then it is everybody's responsibility to find places to go too... and hey what about our Leos who never came for the project? Credit for Mal for balancing both ends perfectly. Might as well accuse Shehari for NOT driving Chamal's van & me for not playing the guitar.
The understanding between us has gone to hell and i feel that everybody started believing EVERYTHING they hear. Why cant we just take the chance to clarify or give the benefit of doubt to the person we know well? (its just one call away: and all of us use either dialog or mobitel which costs only few rupees- except for Chamal who uses AIRTEL) why give a chance for misunderstandings when we all know 2 languages we can communicate with...
It really didn't take much time for the so called BOND we shared break down to pieces. Which always made me think why? i know that several people talked behind my back but was extra sweet and special to my face. Is it that the person who gives information is a backstabber or the rest has two faces? (i'm still wondering) In the short run, when someone told me about someone else, i've been hurt & confused. I've been friends with almost all and there are few whom i really care about & consider close. Judging behaviors of both the sectors, I had two options. (A) believe what i hear and screw my relationships with others (B) Dont give a shit to what they say, be-myself and keep up the friendship. Its very easy to go for (A) but after lots of thinking i realized in the macro sense NOTHING is worth ruining the friendship you have with people you care about. So i chose option (B)
What would you go for (A) or (B)? the choice is yours...
Punctuality was never a key-word among us Leos, but being fashionably late was getting irritable with only few people working on time (the only few who worked on time followed the trend of being LATE) waste of time and effort reached its highest level and at certain times i realized its not only effort and time but my commitment has gone to the bin too...
The capacities of us are different, i'm not over-estimating ourselves but i feel the team we have is extraordinary and are blessed with many talents. We just need to put them right across to one FOCUS and sure we can do wonders. (I don't think many know that most clubs really envy us:) god knows for what reason but i always felt cos the bond we had within us which was truly seen by anyone who knew us)
What lies beneath and what really happened still bugs me. Most of us decided & made judgments after the project in December: the carols. i.e. when i realized that the commitment given by everyone is not the SAME. Like i said before we're of different talents and we have different ways of doing things but to work as a team we need the commitment EQUALLY. It may not necessarily be 100% but even if it is 50%, everybody should put in their 50%.
I still don't understand why i was accused of being a "de-motivation" to others where as i did my part for the project. I promised to find places to go and i found places where we can go and sing. (correct me if i'm wrong) But if everyone needs to do everything then it is everybody's responsibility to find places to go too... and hey what about our Leos who never came for the project? Credit for Mal for balancing both ends perfectly. Might as well accuse Shehari for NOT driving Chamal's van & me for not playing the guitar.
The understanding between us has gone to hell and i feel that everybody started believing EVERYTHING they hear. Why cant we just take the chance to clarify or give the benefit of doubt to the person we know well? (its just one call away: and all of us use either dialog or mobitel which costs only few rupees- except for Chamal who uses AIRTEL) why give a chance for misunderstandings when we all know 2 languages we can communicate with...
It really didn't take much time for the so called BOND we shared break down to pieces. Which always made me think why? i know that several people talked behind my back but was extra sweet and special to my face. Is it that the person who gives information is a backstabber or the rest has two faces? (i'm still wondering) In the short run, when someone told me about someone else, i've been hurt & confused. I've been friends with almost all and there are few whom i really care about & consider close. Judging behaviors of both the sectors, I had two options. (A) believe what i hear and screw my relationships with others (B) Dont give a shit to what they say, be-myself and keep up the friendship. Its very easy to go for (A) but after lots of thinking i realized in the macro sense NOTHING is worth ruining the friendship you have with people you care about. So i chose option (B)
What would you go for (A) or (B)? the choice is yours...
Why don’t humans eat their own children?
This was some question I’ve heard somewhere, don’t ask me where, I can’t remember. It seriously made me think… WHY?
Humans eat all kinds of flesh of animals, so do animals. We kill animals, also kill other human beings for various reasons, then why don’t they eat their own children like many animals do? (Humans eat their kids literary what I mean is in physical terms)
Is it because humans are blessed with brains and Intelligence or because they simply have the power to think twice before they do actually do something which is a crime. Or is it because only humans are blessed with the feeling of guilt and regret which animals don’t have. (Well my dog did, and I never considered him as an animal: he was family)
A friend of mine told me that humans might eat their own children for survival if there is nothing else left but what matters is the thought of killing. A human gives birth to a child after 9 months which is the longest time period comparing with other animals. The 9 months of hope, expectations and love does not allow someone to kill their own kith with all trouble gone through.
Humans have millions of expectations from their own children, from the time they are born till and after they get married... During most instances they live their life through their children. If they had grown through hardships of life, the goals and dreams which could not be attained are passed to your own children for them to achieve. No its not selfishness its what they think is BEST which could not be achieved by them should now be achieved by their own children.
The satisfaction gained by parents seeing their own children growing up, experiencing life and succeeding is much more valuable than the physical need or satisfaction.
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