When it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?

“Why is it that we only seem to believe the negative things people say about us, no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary? A neighbor, a face, an ex-boyfriend can cancel out everything we thought was once true. Odd, but when it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?”

How often does what others say about you matter? Most of the times, when we hear something good about us, we feel good and when we hear something wonderful, we feel flattered. Apart from feeling great always the thought behind all the flattery is “ok whats going on?”

I have been a person who always welcome constructive criticism (lets say most of the times) and have been a person who only thinks compliments are 100% genuine when its from someone who really cares about you… when the rest of the world compliment, well either there is a need to start a conversation or a favour or its just a part of a simple gesture.. (how do I know this? Coz I do it all the time to strangers… wink… well it should be at least 70% true. So no harm in a 30% of exaggeration right?) Also I have this ugly habit of being bluntly honest to the people whom I care about most… My dad still doesn’t get me, when I give my honest opinion he thinks I see fault in everything and gets all DEFENSIVE. But that’s not the case, its better to hear it from your daughter than hearing it from a complete stranger… I’m lucky atleast most of the people around me think the same way I do.

What happens when you are being given the worst review? Knowingly or unknowingly we tend to believe it atleast a little bit… My question is how much affected are you from it? if its LOVE and if it comes from a loved one of yours, it is really difficult to absorb and forget… I’ve seen people take ages to get over the things which has been said irrelevant of the % of honesty in it. Sometimes you never get over certain stuff which has been told to you. Is it because we believe the worst review on us or is it the person who gave us the review?

How much affected are we going to be on it? are we going to change ourselves for the worst review despite of all great ones you received? Then matters the person who gave the worst review and the reasoning behind it. If that person is close, then fine we have to deal with it. If not, who has the right to be so judgmental on someone else’s life? Earth is full of homo sapiens and the difference I see between them and animals are that animals never judge someone else’s life…

When the worst review is given, although you believe the best is to clear how well the judge knows you. How well the facts are taken into consideration in being judgmental (I mean facts not rumors) If 90% of the judges are being optimistic and 10% pessimistic (worst case scenario), with consideration on how much the judge has absorbed YOU, forget the 10%. After all in a world of oxygen being 78% and still living on, who cares about a shitty 10% of bad reviews???

“Are we being too quick to judge judgment? Maybe judgment is not so much a snap decision as an early warning and detection device. If it is instantly clear that a person, a place, or even a profession is not for you, is it better to ignore your better judgment and believe the worst? Or, should you judge a book by it's cover?”

its oshani's BIG day.....

prologue

we have dreamed about the perfect wedding in the perfect dress ever since we saw the first wedding in life….

Not knowing the meaning of the word WEDDING, we played “THE BIG WEDDING” with our favourite dolls and teddy bears, when we started growing up we still used to play with Barbie and ken….

Later when we started realizing little by little what it meant, we started loving the dream more and dreamt of every detail even more….

Today is your dream day, the favourite day u waited for so long is finally here…

Today you will walk down the aisle with HIM to share the rest of your life together…

you will change your name today, your father will be giving you away…

and u will be building your own home from today…

things will change and will never be the same as it used to be but only better…

in one corner of your heart u will miss ur life u had for the past 24 years…, memories will cherish our favourite & funniest moments in life which we spent as best friends together…..

epilogue

I said we dreamed of the perfect day with the perfect man... but boom.. it is one hell right out there... not the marriage, but everything u have to do to make the BIG DAY perfect...

Lots of running up and down, specially IF the lift is broken... or u have this notion that it might break down on your best friend's wedding and u will be trapped inside... (not that I'm always crazy but that lift was very antique: so couldn’t take the risk)

Non stop photography and making sure u SMILE to each one of it, wearing a skin tight saree jacket which u cant breath in… and the list goes on… but at the end of the day, I look at my friend who is very happy and glowing.. and I realized maybe its worth it… worth the effort to make that dream come true… it was self fulfilling even for all of us who were close with the couple watching them say “I do”….

Later that day I got to think about love, marriage and relationships. True I don’t have much experience to talk about it: but I’ve seen many go steady, fall apart, building back and so forth. Some u just know when u see it, that “its meant to be” and most of the time with yourself and your closest friends your GUT feeling or notion becomes just correct. Like to the two who just got married. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the U, you love, well, that's just fabulous.

“Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so does everything, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, just a phone call away”