This year has been hectic, short, mind boggling and irritating… this is one rare occasion where I admit, I learnt lot of things… maybe I grew up so I’m learning or maybe my senseless head is struck by a little bit of sensibility finally…
Year 2009 started like just another day, going to office then thrilled coz it was half day… my first task on Jan 1st was to buy my sweet sis a b’day gift as she was a depressed 16 year old that day… it was all usual stuff, work, assignments, friends and Leo… the aunty at my workplace became my inspiration…, inspiration to life… she made me think, most of the time she challenged the way I think… which got me always think about the insight and darker side and certain views of anything…
Osh got married in April, but we celebrated the joy of wedding way before April… we were counting days, we were excited, talking on phone for hours… although it was just one day, for us it was an occasion of several months…
I changed my workplace to a better one (well that’s atleast what I thought) however much loyal I’m to any place I work for, the feeling of “your own” never touched me like I was at Ronique… People like Shamilal & Kanchana still manage to be my favourite bosses all along… (tragic but true) Much as a mess it was strangely it was easier than before to deal with impossible people in impossible manners… Maybe finally I have managed to learn the art of diplomacy to listen with patience to people like Jenny, Sampath, Shyama & Stanley (thanks to all these blooming trainers I practice my patience everyday)
But neither my art of diplomacy nor patience ticked right when working with Leos… which always reminded me of my usual rebellion self… Maybe coz I considered them friends more than anything, it hit me losing control always. Obviously some people like Chethaka & Sangeeth were “non-existent” I never bothered about their presence in the first place to be bothered about their actions… but it hurt me bad when people I loved like buddima treated me like shit, it was un-expected and never in million years expected by someone like him… More than everything it hurts to see years of friendship in trash just for some silly reasons linked with some silly people… One thing I’m still grateful for is sorting everything out with Milanka and Das…, I’m still thankful for them for coming and talking to me…, atleast I still had 2 of my most favourite Leos in my life whom I always considered as a sis and a broJ
I got depressed on my birthday and it was very sweet of my friends to give me a sweet surprise... of course since Chathu had told me I wasn’t very surprised, but extremely touched and happy for the effort they went through… well when some friends go out of your life some fill that space by being closer than ever before…
Meeting old friends, meeting old class mates were one hell of a BONUS this year… One of my favourite times was the times we spent when pachee was back… we all have grown up in different ways in different styles, but it still feels insanely the “same” when we meet up…just the same old school days, same loud voices as ever… more than everything when you meet old friends you are hanging on to the memories of the past which you never wanna let go… despite the distance and meeting up “once in a blue moon” it feels great to meet them and this time I cherish them for being a part of my life than ever before…
I have changed in many ways… and strangely have started to accept for people for who they are more than before… Two people have made me think differently this year, one is aunty and the other is someone who is 3500 miles away… thanks to them I’ve learnt looking at life in different ways which blessed me with many realizations this year…
I’m still rude and direct, have actually blocked many people out of my life… some with hurt, some with total negligence but never with guilt… but finally one thing kicha managed to make me realize this year, to delete people who haunt your past… who would not let you go to future with no strings… so finally, despite all arguments I have with kicha I realized the truth he tried to make me see.. so thanks to kicha I’m learning to let go of past and leaving people behind who are not worth sharing a friendship in 2010.
So with all unwanted trash away, next year I have time for the people whom I actually care about… specially my parents, whom I have been neglecting totally….
2010 is scary… it freaks me out… I don’t know what the hell will happen with my job, or career… how life would end up for better or for worse… who will be in my life, who will go out of it… and again reminds me to stick to what my inspiration told me “next year get rid of all the dirty linen… its time for a brand new wardrobe”
