Thursday, April 8, 2021

How to know if your boss is a bully!

 

We all blame Meghan Markel for washing dirty linen in public, but did she really? On the contrary, don’t you think that she spoke about what she felt because her emotional intelligence was high enough to understand the damage it was causing her wellbeing and mental health so she knew when to quit?

When I talk to my friends outside Sri Lanka, they mention that everyone in Lanka complain about heavy workload and high levels of stress during lockdown and WFH period. Whereas many other developed countries take well-being and mental health very seriously, while we don’t, and we use it to our advantage with our peculiar mindset to think: “ah they must be sleeping during afternoon without doing any work” or “these people don’t work from home, let me load them with work’’ But is it the truth really? I’ve actually lost count when people used to tell me “oh you work from home? Must be getting an afternoon nap ah”

While we are made to believe that we are extremely lucky to have our jobs during Covid, I have heard many incidents where employees quit their jobs because their bosses couldn’t handle the organizational pressure that came hand in hand with Covid19. Basically the bosses were being ‘Assholes” so they had no choice but to quit. Which is an alarming sign, the ones who realise the impact make decisions whereas the ones who don’t realise it will release the pressure elsewhere, either on wives, children or take extreme measures to end their lives.

We all like to think that our bosses are bullies sometimes. But are they truly? Or are we over dramatizing ourselves because of our incompetency’s, workload and personal drama. It is important to know if you are being bullied, because the more unaware you are of it, the greater the impact will be on your life, both physical wellbeing and mental health. Bullying doesn’t mean abusing you verbally or physically, it also means shouting, belittling you, not giving constructive criticism but ඔහේ go on criticizing without giving feedback, or withholding information from you to do your job. Here are few red flags that your boss might be a bully.

Your boss doesn’t offer constructive criticism. Instead of giving constructive feedback do they give useless, meaningless feedback coming across as an insult, yes it is a red flag.

You are never appreciated. You know your performer by hard work and you achieve your KPI’s but it is never enough, instead of appreciating he chooses to belittle you and put you down or indicate that you are not good enough.

Your boss only focuses on revenue, not people. They don’t care if your career goals or your personal growth, they only care about numbers and revenue. Yes it is a red flag

Authority baby, he wants to approve every single thing to the cent. All projects to minor decisions has to be signed off and approved by him.

You are asked to do things outside your moral character. While these could be small requests, but if it questions your integrity then it is a definite red flag.

You are expected to figure things on your own. Your boss doesn’t guide you or give you information to do your job, instead they blame it on you unnecessarily.

Your boss is demeaning and rude. He yells or shouts for no reason, yes it is a big red flag too.

 

What should you do about it?

Firstly identify, understand and accept that it is not you. Take notes, evaluate the situation carefully. How toxic is it for you? Try and evaluate and understand how much it affects you and your mental health. If they makes you feel as if you are not good enough or that they always belittle you, then cut the cord, and move out. Nothing it worth letting it affect your mental wellbeing and sanity. How they treat you is their problem, not yours.  Why should you become a victim? Once you understand you have been bullied, speak to
someone about it. Speak to your support system, get clarity, and speak to your HR.

When you finally learn that a person’s behavior has more to do with their own internal struggle that it ever did with you, you learn grace. Learn the lesson and gracefully bow out. If Meghan Markel left a palace after all, you can leave a toxic workplace.

 

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