Types of men we have to deal with in 21st century…

Sometimes you might be late to see it but eventually you will just know. The sad part is, when you fall in love with that ‘’someone’’ you think every man is a keeper. Women get all mushy and filmy that we forget to categorize or define right from wrong. We know its wrong but end up falling anyway, and end up getting hurt and broken.

 

One of the perks of being in my friends circle is having the ability to laugh at ourselves for the crazy mistakes we did in the past…

We have been a weird bunch getting attracted to the weirdest type of men who goes down in history with a bang:P

Among the types of men, we’ve met, dated and known, written below are the most common types with very few examples which can be shared in public.

This note is dedicated to all the men who confused us,liked-disliked-loved-hated us, to all the men who made us cry-laugh-live, to all of them as a tribute ;)

 

The Artist

My favourite. They will sing for you, write poems for you,make you feel that every bit of Shakespeare is written for you and every love song in the world is for you. Enjoy it, feel special, feel beautiful and filmy…BUT

Don’t ever confront him…. Because he will  confuse you and write another poem or sing another song which will keep you forever confused. When my friend confronted this guy who wrote a poem about me, he said he wrote it to his best friend’s mother. (the nightmares I had afterwards, he took our imaginations to a whole new level of him and his best friend’s mother)

 

If you want to deal with this, you need two things !! be pathetic and poetic ;)

 

The Confused Puppy

The most dangerous. This type is soo sweet, so caring and so adorable. But he is confused, he likes or is in love with more than one woman.The best part is, he is confused about it. He cheats with one on another and makes them both feel that they are the love of his life. If you get this super crazy vibe that there is some other woman, there probably is !! I had to go on a 4 hour drive stalking the man for my friend coz she had this feeling that he cheated on her :P (and he actually did; a woman’s sixth sense is rarely wrong – unless you are looney- she was a bit looney but she was right ;) and if you find out there is, (ofcourse he will never admit)he will make you think that you are crazy, and you will go on until it breaks you.

 

When you see this type, you run !! run for your life !!

 

The Total Package

He is the total package, smart, handsome, tall and successful.Did the right thing at the right age, haven’t seen much failures or failed in his life, everything has been a smooth ride. Has a house, a car and now needs a woman. The best part about him is he is in love with himself. Not just a little but head over heels. Unless you are academically qualified with MBA, have a 36’24’36 and a die for face with an excellent job at a blue chip company, stay away !!

 

Because remember, his love of his life will only be him....

 

The Ultimate Player

This type is amazing if you want to be an option but not priority. If you have dated other types and got your heart broken, this is the ideal rebound. He will boost your self confidence, lift your self esteem, in other words give you the feeling as if you are in a Spa. You feel relaxed and calm, you feel great. Remember the music in a Spa, when he speaks it is just like that, calm soothing and cozy.

 

But spa treatment is temporary so is he ;)

 

The Attention Seeker

This one is epic. He updates statuses ‘’….. at nawaloka Hospital’’ ‘’feeling sick’’ or messages or calls you with loads of bullshit to seek attention, could be a drama of his ex girlfriend, mom falling sick or uncle in hospital. Well, this one guy told me his mom is dying ofcourse I panicked and asked which hospital is she in, then he says no it was a breathing problem not a heart attack and she is discharged, so clearly she wasn’t dying.  Yes I wanted to kill him.

 

Unless you want to play god, stay away !!

 

The Ass-kisser

This one is exhausting. He will like every picture of you on facebook, he will like everything you wear, he will compliment you everyday,buy you gifts and flowers everyday, surprise you on valentines day at your workplace, buy gifts for your friends - cupcakes with their names on it :P (yes it actually happened) in other words:

 

he will kiss ass to everyone you know as if there is no tomorrow. Can you handle it?

 

The Daddy

“did you eat?’’ ‘’did you get home?’’ ‘’what time did you leave’’ ‘’what are you wearing’’ ‘’why aren’t you answering’’ never ending questions, so protective, overly caring,. Once I had 6 messages: 4 asking if I had lunch, and one telling me to have lunch and another one telling me the consequences of not having lunch. Daddy can be quite the stalker too, My friend had her ex boyfriend track her phone, so he knew exactly where she was so he didn’t have to ask.

 

You find it cute at the beginning, then the phone starts beeping non stop till you want to scream ‘’shut the hell up’’

 

The Rule Breaker

This one is adventurous, you get attracted because you need that challenge, can be quite macho (he has to be if not its an epic fail from the start) he does the bad stuff, the bad boy... the one who breaks all the rules, bunks classes to all the bad things you cant write. But unless he has a charming, really charming personality to pull it off and keep you attracted in long run it is a complete fail. Because despite the crazy chemistry, all the breaking rules become kinda lame in time to come,

And then you realize that

 

Someone who plays by the rules is sexier than someone who breaks them;)

 

I’m your friend – guy

This is what annoys me most, playing the ‘’friend’’ card is a bit overrated. Either you like someone or you dont. Playing it safe is not taking us anywhere, in-case you didnt know, women like 'bold' 'straightforward' men. We feel bad when you behave weirdly and blaming it on ''friend'' role so we keep playing the friend part even though it is awkward, until it gets out of hand and we lose a friend. If you like someone tell her, if you dont then cut the mixed signals and stay away, we cant read minds, its simple logic not rocket science.

 

‘’…. Because im your friend’’ seriously cut the crap.

 

The Ultimate Asshole

The worst. He doesn’t necessarily have to physically abuse you, cheat on you, use your money or pull a dirty trick on you. If he makes you feel bad, breaks down your self esteem and make you feel like crap, he is an asshole. If he makes you feel shitty, insecure, and pathetic all the time, trust me he is an asshole. No woman deserves to be treated like shit and no woman deserves to be broken.

 

 Ladies, he is your karma, he will break you competely. Take your time, make use of your girl therapy time. You will be okay.

 

 

The Keeper

No description needed, you just know it ;) if you find someone whose worth it, hold on to him…  

 

‘’If you love something set it free and if it comes back to you its meant to be’’

Bullshit, this is 21st century, that quote is overused and expired.

if you love something, hold on tight and don't let go but if you realize he is a psycho or a stalker then stop right there, and run for your life…

don’t ever look back !!

Tuk Tuk… its the story of a common man

When you are in it, you feel awesome, when you drive along with it, nothing annoys you more…

Tuk tuk wisdom quotes are something that is hard to ignore and something which always brings a smile on my face…

''Bob Marley'', ‘’Love is trash, girls need cash’’, ‘’midi koheda thiththa nari kiyai da aththa’’ ‘’chooti kello naasthi wenne naughty kello nisa’’

Some of the quotes which made me laugh when im rushing on road… Tuk guys own mobiles with hutch or etisalaat numbers with loud sinhala boot songs as their ring tones. They are chatty, updated and funny (most of the time atleast) Inside every tuk, if you notice closely is a way of living of the man in front of it, its either soo many steel bars and colourful interior… then the owner is a young guy who’s in colourful tshirt :P if you see pictures of babies, god and flowers inside then more likely the owner is a father and there is a high chance that his daughter’s and son’s name is written behind somewhere.

They are super speed, money oriented and cunning… atleast that is our perception about them… there are many times that they have surprised me and proved me wrong…

Once I left my phone (well its not million dollars but still very precious to me) inside a random tuk, while getting down at office only realizing when I went up that I left it in the tuk, came down again to see he was driving back to office with my phone, gave it to me and said "miss mama hindama hodai, wena kenek nang arang yanawa’’

One time I got into a tuk after work and when I got down I was short of Rs.200 and when I told him ill get it from home he said "miss one naha, wena dawasaka denna mama yanawa’’ofcourse I had to get his no and call and give him money back, quite effective customer relationship building ;)

Another time I had a Cinderella moment with a very old uncle in a tuk, I bought a pair of shoes on my way home, left one shoe in the tuk, had to find him when I realized one shoe is missing. Next day he came back all the way to office and gave it (when I tried to tip him) he said, "epa miss, matath miss wage duwek innawa’’ and went off.

Once I met this tuk driver who works part time after work till 11pm gets into a k-galle bus goes home and comes back in the morning. Said he needed extra cash so he works late, he too dropped me off and asked me for less than what the meter showed me, I paid extra and got off with his no :P again, excellent marketing technique – he was a good story teller, sympathy works every time ;)

Most of the time they can be annoying, they can be rude and they drive you mad…

Despite the reckless, arrogant, super night rider fast driving lies a very ordinary Sri Lankan man who for a change is passionate about his job (we can only find a handful of people happy with their jobs), they are very patriotic than most of us… They are the ones who have national flags during Independence day and despite their high robotic charges they are the ones who go out of the way to help people. During bomb blasts in Colombo, they were faster than any ambulances to take injured to hospital. If someone dies, they are the first to mourn with white flags, they are the most updated about the country, unlike many of us who are biased and commercialized, they express opinions, they fight for their rights, they fight for the country…they fight for the common man…

If you see closely you will see a very passionate person, a very ordinary Sri Lankan making a living, trying to live a peaceful life with the little money he makes, if you hear closely you will hear a heartbeat of a fellow Sri Lankan, a heartbeat of an ordinary man who fights against odds to live a better life… 

What did ‘Man of Steel’ miss except for the misplaced underwear :P

Where the hell is Clark Kent?

Superman is my favourite and maybe the only superhero i like... Many of us prefer him over the rest is because he has that human-normal-guy in him... clark kent – the nerd who is normal and shy... The superhero part comes later... Lois Lane should fall in love with Clark Kent not Superman...

Superhero element??

Superman is about him saving people in Earth, not about some boring story of how he came to Earth from Crypton... He saves the world yes but half of the story is about how his father sent him to earth.  And when he finally is on earth, its too gloomy... the sarcasm and the humor is missing unless at one point a woman says “i think he is hot”

Where is the lurrrveeee...

A suspicious Lois follows superman. Obviously the charm of the romance is missing. No chemistry, sigh. At least have good dialogues to cover it up? Not even a proper kiss? At somepoint they hold hands in some dessert and share a very awkward kiss.

Core Value of superman is missing. His dad dies, when he could have saved him.

Instead of creating the superhero part it gives us a tragic depressed feeling. Dad chooses to die than being rescued by a superhero son, I don’t expect it to be bollywood but oh common... it could have been better.

Superman is not about moral ambiguity but moral certainty. He worries about what to do and has doubts on how to act on it. He can’t grasp what the right thing is when the essence of his character is about doing the right thing at the right time. Not being able to bring it out in the movie is tragic.

The way he killed Zod. Unbelievably ridiculous !!

Why is superman so popular? It’s not his undies nor the cape...

It’s his ability to reach people, support them... his compassion... he was a hero for everybody... Not a man in a cape, not a disguised journalist, not just another friend, not just some lover... his character was an essence of every bit of it...

The core essence of his character... that was missing... !!!

To outgoing president with love...

I know this year was tough, 
not what u wanted it to be 
and not what u expected to be…
I know there were many let-downs, heartaches 
and disappointments...
But u made it through in style…

Listening to your “Outgoing President” speech today,
I’ve never felt more proud of u...
I've realized how much you've grown...

When we both took “this” up the year last July 2012,
we both said…
“what the heck, lets get it over with, we have each other when things go wrong”
U were right beside me when things went wrong, when things weren’t right and even when things turned upside down for me…
U were one of my biggest strengths… u were my "person"…
U always will be…

My neighbor, my sister, my friend, my person…
This is to you... 

Cheers Leo Shehari de Mel
For completing an awesome year… <3 span="">

End of an Era - Leo Club of Moratuwa Orient.... 10 years and counting...

we were never the best club in the district, we were never the most outstanding... we were never punctual (except shahen)... we were never a lot of things. We hated giving speeches (Milanka never turns up if he is given one), we hated formal meetings, we hated chief guests, we hated a lot of things that a normal Leo would like... which resulted in having extremely angry Leo Advisors. But we were definitely something, we stood out on our own grounds and we couldnt have asked for a bunch of better guys and girls to build this up to what it is... 

From the start we were outspoken, weird, not-normal, annoying (to other clubs) and ofcourse overflowing levels of creativity and irritating levels of self confidence. Whats so special? We had chemistry... Apart from the mutual weirdness we had a connection ! (not in a physical attractive way ewww) but in a way that we got each other, we had each others back, we supported each other and at some difficult points in our lives we were each others persons. All of us during our stay at the club did things that we never dreamt of doing. Dancing and singing in public are just two things. Maybe its doing things we are terrified of doing with a bunch of friends made us feel closer towards each other or maybe because we all went through same emotional rollercoaster everyday. We all had to face some of the most stressful exams in our life (ALs to Degree), we got scolded from homes for singing carols late nights, we fell in love, we fell out of love, we had long standing crushes (except for Rehan ofcourse), we started our first job, we lost loved ones and the list goes on.. There were times we hated each other mutually, we had our fights, arguments, disagreements, yellings. Then suddenly Chathu comes with extra make up to a meeting so we all bug her and forget why we all hated each other, Then we all scold Milanka or Dayan whose always late for dancing practices and he comes with food for everyone, then he becomes top one. We fight and fight before going carolling, then we get treated badly, we all get upset buy koththu, come to one house eat and sing baila till dawn. When we hug each other before going home we wonder, ok why did we fight? we had our times, good and bad.. best to worst... we had our moments. 

During the past 10 years this club had helped us become, Mothers, Fathers, Bankers, Air force Officers, Pilots, Engineers, Marketeers, Stock Brockers, Teachers, Lecturers, Entrepreneurs, Psychologists and the list goes on... a bunch of great friends and mostly extraordinary human beings... The best part of our chemistry is, even we don’t meet often, keep in touch since most of us are abroad, we know that one fine day if we accidentally bump into each other, we can hug with warmth and laugh from our hearts to catch up from where we left years before... and no matter what these bunch of people will always be close because that was one hell of an era in our lives which made us smile... no matter what life brings on, these bunch of people will always be reserved 'special' in our hearts... 

During the stay of Leo Club of Moratuwa Orient we all had at least one birthday celebrated together which was organized as a surprise (most of them were screwed halfway), had at least one reassuring hug from someone who comforted us, we all had at least one crush within us which didn’t work, hated someone enough to kill (literally), we all have lost a friend, found a best friend, had some of the moments that we know would never forget... 

Cheers to all of us at Leo Club of Moratuwa Orient, For all the hatred, and love Friendship and good times Surprise (or not) birthdays and cakes Spoilt dancing and off key singing practices Moments unforgettable... 

Cheers to Us Who kept Leo Club of Moratuwa Orient going for 10 years... 
Good Bye & Good Luck Leo Club of Moratuwa Orient, 10 years and counting....

Hope the new era will have more chemistry, more love and more fights for the new team to keep the flame going...

Major Turn Off’s for a Candidate at a job interview…. from a Interviewee point of view

I had just finished my MBA (hopefully) and was looking for a new job opportunity and was going through the usual process, applying via email and going for interviews.

We go for an interview because we get shortlisted, and it is only fair to expect to be treated in a professional manner, but in most cases it is NOT. There isn’t any point if you have a great product and high sales if you do not know how to attract candidates. Interviewers forget that apart from judging the interviewee that the employer is judged, you give us an insight about your company on the way you behave and although you might not realize it we evaluate you too. Just listing some of the unprofessional situations I’ve come across during the past few months.

1.       Friendly atmosphere at the Gate/Reception – Turn On

Most companies don’t do this, but when it happens you feel positive. Nestle had already given the names to the gate as well as reception and when you go they treat you by saying “Good Afternoon you are miss. ABC right?” At Avery Dennison, the security staffs wish you luck when you go in. 

2.       Extra Long queue for Interviews - Punctuality is Important!!! – Turn Off

 The awkwardness of being seated for more than half hour with a bunch of candidates can be horrifying. You stare at candidates faces and do the awkward smile and nod. Plus it’s a waste of time for us, we are punctual because we respect you and it is crucial to know if it is mutual.

Multi Nationals such as Mas Holdings, Nestle, Fonterra & hsenid have exactly started interviews on exact given time which is quite impressive.

3.       Interviewer not introducing himself – Lack of common courtesy !! – Turn Off Off Off

 In most cases I have to introduce myself and they never introduce themselves back, this is tragic especially since you are interviewed by middle to top level management. You feel very disrespected and hey its common courtesy, just say your name and smile it won’t cost you anything.

4.       List of unwanted looong questions – Seriously??? This is a killer turn Off

 You are trying test us we get it, but please make it relevant, once I was interviewed for about one and half hours long after seated for more than half hour. Some of the questions were ridiculous. They asked me “What is your worst nightmare?” and I wanted to answer “you” By the time the interview was over I was exhausted and I rejected the second interview because I was so irritated with the first.

5.       Not explaining the Job Role & Responsibilities to the candidate – Turn Off

Please take time to explain this without playing 20 question games with us. That’s the most important factor for us, and based on the job role only we can tell our expected package, and when you do the other way round it gives a feeling that the company is more interested in how much they have to pay rather than selecting the right candidate.

If you have a budget please tell without beating around the bush, we will agree or disagree and definitely respect you for being honest.

6.       Criticizing your Competitor – Major Turn Off

Remember that you haven’t still recruited us, so stop criticizing your competitor. Because of the clientele I have worked for I get picked for interviews by the competitor companies who expect me to talk about the campaigns of them which I found very degrading and low. Not only you are insecure it also makes us uncomfortable in the process.

7.       Follow up email – Turn On

Only few companies practice this, you know where you stand, I missed one job opportunity because I didn’t hear from them for one month. By the time they offered me the job I was employed elsewhere.

Misconception is that anyone would jump at an opportunity to join a Multi-National Company because of the reputation and perks, but I feel that people want to join because they are treated right, from a simple greeting to end of the interview. Sadly, in a country like Sri Lanka where job market is stagnated and when people are desperate for jobs, candidates are left with no right to complain. But you just might lose a good candidate just because you don’t treat them right…. and because you forget that they evaluate you too…

It may just be a Receptionist or CEO, interview is an invitation given by you, so treat them right. Who knows the testimony or an insult you receive by a candidate might take you a long way ;)