Drunk confession on love

This is was told to me by a drunk person whose very close to my heart, I wrote down what I remember and I don't think anyone could make such a classy honest drunk confession than this person !

Read and comment if you disagree ;)

"What is love? Can anyone define it? No.

You meet a person and you think you like him, you believe that you are in love and you make a choice to spend rest of your life with that person.

Falling in love is easy, it happens just in a click, you think you can fall in love with a person by looking at him or by listening to him talk, his accent or maybe how his hair flips or I don’t know maybe the way he eats. Its easy, you look and you think – I love him !

But what happens is, we forget, we forget that we are grown people. When we hit thirty we are a finished product. We cannot be customized, you might hate the way he eats or shower or dress, but these habits have been moulded and instilled during twenty something years.

But still you make a choice, to live with it, to live with that person despite all the irritable habits. Because by now, with years of learning and brains you tend to overlook the little things and look beyond. You look into the core of the other person, trying to understand.

Isn’t it all about understanding?

When both people have reached the same level mentally, you tend to understand and accept. Accept all the little things you don’t like, and the habits that irritate you. Why? Its not only love ! it is because you realize that he or she is a complete different person and you respect that difference.

It is all about respecting and accepting the difference.
Then you try to find the balance, that middle ground to connect. It may come from family, school, education, something maybe… Somewhere down the line you find the things that click, that connects you to the other person. Looks fade, lifesytles change… you fall out of love, you fall out of like…

And somewhere down the line, you connect deeply to the core of another person, through disagreements, arguments, fights and so many other differences,
You find a balance,

you find home...."

The girl at the Super Market... just smile with her !

I went to Keells yesterday, it was a busy Sunday with lot of shoppers walking around. There was a girl offering a certain brand as samples. She politely comes close to the people who walk by and offer the sample. Reactions were epic ! Not exactly epic but pretty weird and funny. Some just ignore and walk past, some just nod their heads and walk by. Some just smile and quickly go as if she will run behind you. Some stop and look at it, some actually take it. Most of the reactions are negative. One thing I noticed, old uncles and aunties actually stop and have a look or atleast smile. Why are people so unfriendly? I mean our generation, the generation below and above, what is it makes you so stiff that you can’t bother atleast to pause and smile. I get it, everyone is busy probably running around with thousand things in their minds. Sick children, annoying boyfriends, horrible job etc etc.

This girl who spend their weekends standing in Keells with heels has a story of her own. Okay we women know how hard it is to stand in heels, imagine standing whole day in a supermarket? It isn’t as pretty as it looks. They probably want to sleep late or watch a movie too. But certain difficulties keep them doing their part time jobs to earn that extra buck or two. Maybe it is to pay for your university or support your family while studying. None of these jobs are fulltime jobs. I was working for a PR agency sometime back, if a FMCG client wants a promotion in a super market they contact their agency give the requirement, the agency look for a third party who lend these girls. So when it comes to their pay, client negotiates, the agency keeps a cut, the third party keeps a cut. So maybe she gets about Rs. 2000 paid for the job. Most of the time the client wants feedback, why they didn’t buy, how many samples given out, why no increase in sales?

So the more they sell, no she doesnt get a commission, but she might get hired for another job again soon. The client goes through photographs of these girls, then pick a face. So how much it sucks, she has to stand looking her best with a smile all day long. A rude customer can ruin her day, maybe lose her job and a good customer can definitely keep that smile on her face for a while. It is a part and parcel of being born to a middle class generation. Whichever government comes in to power and whatever President may take the reins, the life of the ordinary people, does not really change. They live their life, running a rat race to earn that extra bit of cash.

Next time, you walk in to a super market smile at that girl who says good morning, say good morning back. Take that bloody sample – doesn’t hurt. If you can offer her feedback, do it. Don’t be that person who posts about animal rights or deaths in Syria or sign up for petitions you cannot control. Help the ones you can, charity begins at home not anywhere else. Your smile can make her day. So just do it.

A dose of ‘’Wijepala’’ – Sri Lankan in customer care at its best...

I ordered Dominos last week, they tortured me over the phone asking for directions (I was patient coz my house is not the easiest to find). They delivered after 50 minutes and the guy kept calling asking me to come walking down the lane on a rainy day. I wanted to hammer the fellow when he finally came but when I saw him I felt sorry, he seemed to be around 18 just out of school. So I tipped him and later I was told by Dominos itself that I could have gotten the discount of late arrival. Two days later, really Dominos?

Few days back I went with Lakshani to Green Cabin, we ordered 4 éclairs, 4 cream buns and some weird looking cake which she was excited about. While I was paying she was standing to get the food, the guy behind the counter who clearly had good common sense asked ‘methana kannada’’ it was a LOL moment but she politely said ‘’naha take away’’

Then at TGIF, we ordered the lunch promo, finally when the food arrived it didn’t look anything similar to the picture on the offer (which was nicely printed and laminated), so when we told the waiter that it doesn’t look like what is in the picture, he replies : ‘’ah no sir that picture is only for marketing purposes’’ I still don’t know how to react to that.

Recently at Peach Valley they brought the wrong food, the waiter didn’t seem to agree when we told him it’s the wrong order, then at Bars Café the egg koththu didn’t have egg in it, we told the waiter, he grabbed the bowl from the person while the she was eating it and took it, just like that.

Victimized several times with horrible customer service, I always feel bad to complain to the management however unacceptable the service is. I felt that the person will get fired, and I truly didn’t want a person to lose a job just like that so I always laughed it off and let it go. Plus good customer care comes from solid training given by the restaurant, that’s what I thought until I met Wijayapala.

Min Han is our dodgy little chinese spot (that’s what Gail calls it) opp Mahanama. The place is not at all posh, it had bright orangish-pinkish mixed table cloths and chairs to match. When you walk in, Wijepala comes in a flash and asks politely if we want to dine in or take away. He shows you a table, brings the menu and when we are ready to order he stands and smiles patiently waiting. He recommends what is the best dish and believe me he is spot on ! The place has about ten tables and he manages the entire place by himself. For a person around 70, he is really really fast. He comes and pores green tea (and Gail had around 4 glasses because he kept pouring and she felt bad to say no) brings in your order super-fast. He is a smiler, a pocket dynamite type of a happy go person.

His marketing skills are pretty great too. He suggests different dishes to try, and laughingly says ‘’edath oka kaawa ne miss, ada meka kaala balanna’’ (yes he remembers what you ordered before) there is something in him that you get convinced and immediately agree. The best part is he always asks you how the dish is, not in a pushy annoying way but in a very curious twinkly eyed way. Actually he is more excited about our order than we are. More concerned about how it tastes and that is exactly how it should be. No point having the best food on planet if your customer service is bad, its all about treating people right. It is clearly rocket science to many Sri Lankan restaurants because most even forget to smile.

It is very easy to please hungry people. (not if the food is crap of-course) You just need to be honest about what you have and apologize if you make mistakes. Customers don’t expect you to be perfect, they just expect you to fix things soon. If you can be humble enough to accept your mistakes, anyone will do great. Afterall we are human and mistakes are bound to happen.

Wijepala kind of walks you out too, I’m sure he is not paid great money nor he is in an age to be running around the way he does. But still he seems to be passionate about what he does.

It made me realize that finally it falls down to the person, the person who he is and if the person loves his job or not. You cannot hate your job and give it your best, you got to love what you do and do what you love.

All the restaurants and hotels in Sri Lanka, should get a dose of Wijepala soon :-)

P.S. – their food is awesome too ! (If you go to Min Han, please do tip an extra 50 bucks to him for me)

Types of men we have to deal with in 21st century…

Sometimes you might be late to see it but eventually you will just know. The sad part is, when you fall in love with that ‘’someone’’ you think every man is a keeper. Women get all mushy and filmy that we forget to categorize or define right from wrong. We know its wrong but end up falling anyway, and end up getting hurt and broken.

 

One of the perks of being in my friends circle is having the ability to laugh at ourselves for the crazy mistakes we did in the past…

We have been a weird bunch getting attracted to the weirdest type of men who goes down in history with a bang:P

Among the types of men, we’ve met, dated and known, written below are the most common types with very few examples which can be shared in public.

This note is dedicated to all the men who confused us,liked-disliked-loved-hated us, to all the men who made us cry-laugh-live, to all of them as a tribute ;)

 

The Artist

My favourite. They will sing for you, write poems for you,make you feel that every bit of Shakespeare is written for you and every love song in the world is for you. Enjoy it, feel special, feel beautiful and filmy…BUT

Don’t ever confront him…. Because he will  confuse you and write another poem or sing another song which will keep you forever confused. When my friend confronted this guy who wrote a poem about me, he said he wrote it to his best friend’s mother. (the nightmares I had afterwards, he took our imaginations to a whole new level of him and his best friend’s mother)

 

If you want to deal with this, you need two things !! be pathetic and poetic ;)

 

The Confused Puppy

The most dangerous. This type is soo sweet, so caring and so adorable. But he is confused, he likes or is in love with more than one woman.The best part is, he is confused about it. He cheats with one on another and makes them both feel that they are the love of his life. If you get this super crazy vibe that there is some other woman, there probably is !! I had to go on a 4 hour drive stalking the man for my friend coz she had this feeling that he cheated on her :P (and he actually did; a woman’s sixth sense is rarely wrong – unless you are looney- she was a bit looney but she was right ;) and if you find out there is, (ofcourse he will never admit)he will make you think that you are crazy, and you will go on until it breaks you.

 

When you see this type, you run !! run for your life !!

 

The Total Package

He is the total package, smart, handsome, tall and successful.Did the right thing at the right age, haven’t seen much failures or failed in his life, everything has been a smooth ride. Has a house, a car and now needs a woman. The best part about him is he is in love with himself. Not just a little but head over heels. Unless you are academically qualified with MBA, have a 36’24’36 and a die for face with an excellent job at a blue chip company, stay away !!

 

Because remember, his love of his life will only be him....

 

The Ultimate Player

This type is amazing if you want to be an option but not priority. If you have dated other types and got your heart broken, this is the ideal rebound. He will boost your self confidence, lift your self esteem, in other words give you the feeling as if you are in a Spa. You feel relaxed and calm, you feel great. Remember the music in a Spa, when he speaks it is just like that, calm soothing and cozy.

 

But spa treatment is temporary so is he ;)

 

The Attention Seeker

This one is epic. He updates statuses ‘’….. at nawaloka Hospital’’ ‘’feeling sick’’ or messages or calls you with loads of bullshit to seek attention, could be a drama of his ex girlfriend, mom falling sick or uncle in hospital. Well, this one guy told me his mom is dying ofcourse I panicked and asked which hospital is she in, then he says no it was a breathing problem not a heart attack and she is discharged, so clearly she wasn’t dying.  Yes I wanted to kill him.

 

Unless you want to play god, stay away !!

 

The Ass-kisser

This one is exhausting. He will like every picture of you on facebook, he will like everything you wear, he will compliment you everyday,buy you gifts and flowers everyday, surprise you on valentines day at your workplace, buy gifts for your friends - cupcakes with their names on it :P (yes it actually happened) in other words:

 

he will kiss ass to everyone you know as if there is no tomorrow. Can you handle it?

 

The Daddy

“did you eat?’’ ‘’did you get home?’’ ‘’what time did you leave’’ ‘’what are you wearing’’ ‘’why aren’t you answering’’ never ending questions, so protective, overly caring,. Once I had 6 messages: 4 asking if I had lunch, and one telling me to have lunch and another one telling me the consequences of not having lunch. Daddy can be quite the stalker too, My friend had her ex boyfriend track her phone, so he knew exactly where she was so he didn’t have to ask.

 

You find it cute at the beginning, then the phone starts beeping non stop till you want to scream ‘’shut the hell up’’

 

The Rule Breaker

This one is adventurous, you get attracted because you need that challenge, can be quite macho (he has to be if not its an epic fail from the start) he does the bad stuff, the bad boy... the one who breaks all the rules, bunks classes to all the bad things you cant write. But unless he has a charming, really charming personality to pull it off and keep you attracted in long run it is a complete fail. Because despite the crazy chemistry, all the breaking rules become kinda lame in time to come,

And then you realize that

 

Someone who plays by the rules is sexier than someone who breaks them;)

 

I’m your friend – guy

This is what annoys me most, playing the ‘’friend’’ card is a bit overrated. Either you like someone or you dont. Playing it safe is not taking us anywhere, in-case you didnt know, women like 'bold' 'straightforward' men. We feel bad when you behave weirdly and blaming it on ''friend'' role so we keep playing the friend part even though it is awkward, until it gets out of hand and we lose a friend. If you like someone tell her, if you dont then cut the mixed signals and stay away, we cant read minds, its simple logic not rocket science.

 

‘’…. Because im your friend’’ seriously cut the crap.

 

The Ultimate Asshole

The worst. He doesn’t necessarily have to physically abuse you, cheat on you, use your money or pull a dirty trick on you. If he makes you feel bad, breaks down your self esteem and make you feel like crap, he is an asshole. If he makes you feel shitty, insecure, and pathetic all the time, trust me he is an asshole. No woman deserves to be treated like shit and no woman deserves to be broken.

 

 Ladies, he is your karma, he will break you competely. Take your time, make use of your girl therapy time. You will be okay.

 

 

The Keeper

No description needed, you just know it ;) if you find someone whose worth it, hold on to him…  

 

‘’If you love something set it free and if it comes back to you its meant to be’’

Bullshit, this is 21st century, that quote is overused and expired.

if you love something, hold on tight and don't let go but if you realize he is a psycho or a stalker then stop right there, and run for your life…

don’t ever look back !!

Tuk Tuk… its the story of a common man

When you are in it, you feel awesome, when you drive along with it, nothing annoys you more…

Tuk tuk wisdom quotes are something that is hard to ignore and something which always brings a smile on my face…

''Bob Marley'', ‘’Love is trash, girls need cash’’, ‘’midi koheda thiththa nari kiyai da aththa’’ ‘’chooti kello naasthi wenne naughty kello nisa’’

Some of the quotes which made me laugh when im rushing on road… Tuk guys own mobiles with hutch or etisalaat numbers with loud sinhala boot songs as their ring tones. They are chatty, updated and funny (most of the time atleast) Inside every tuk, if you notice closely is a way of living of the man in front of it, its either soo many steel bars and colourful interior… then the owner is a young guy who’s in colourful tshirt :P if you see pictures of babies, god and flowers inside then more likely the owner is a father and there is a high chance that his daughter’s and son’s name is written behind somewhere.

They are super speed, money oriented and cunning… atleast that is our perception about them… there are many times that they have surprised me and proved me wrong…

Once I left my phone (well its not million dollars but still very precious to me) inside a random tuk, while getting down at office only realizing when I went up that I left it in the tuk, came down again to see he was driving back to office with my phone, gave it to me and said "miss mama hindama hodai, wena kenek nang arang yanawa’’

One time I got into a tuk after work and when I got down I was short of Rs.200 and when I told him ill get it from home he said "miss one naha, wena dawasaka denna mama yanawa’’ofcourse I had to get his no and call and give him money back, quite effective customer relationship building ;)

Another time I had a Cinderella moment with a very old uncle in a tuk, I bought a pair of shoes on my way home, left one shoe in the tuk, had to find him when I realized one shoe is missing. Next day he came back all the way to office and gave it (when I tried to tip him) he said, "epa miss, matath miss wage duwek innawa’’ and went off.

Once I met this tuk driver who works part time after work till 11pm gets into a k-galle bus goes home and comes back in the morning. Said he needed extra cash so he works late, he too dropped me off and asked me for less than what the meter showed me, I paid extra and got off with his no :P again, excellent marketing technique – he was a good story teller, sympathy works every time ;)

Most of the time they can be annoying, they can be rude and they drive you mad…

Despite the reckless, arrogant, super night rider fast driving lies a very ordinary Sri Lankan man who for a change is passionate about his job (we can only find a handful of people happy with their jobs), they are very patriotic than most of us… They are the ones who have national flags during Independence day and despite their high robotic charges they are the ones who go out of the way to help people. During bomb blasts in Colombo, they were faster than any ambulances to take injured to hospital. If someone dies, they are the first to mourn with white flags, they are the most updated about the country, unlike many of us who are biased and commercialized, they express opinions, they fight for their rights, they fight for the country…they fight for the common man…

If you see closely you will see a very passionate person, a very ordinary Sri Lankan making a living, trying to live a peaceful life with the little money he makes, if you hear closely you will hear a heartbeat of a fellow Sri Lankan, a heartbeat of an ordinary man who fights against odds to live a better life… 

What did ‘Man of Steel’ miss except for the misplaced underwear :P

Where the hell is Clark Kent?

Superman is my favourite and maybe the only superhero i like... Many of us prefer him over the rest is because he has that human-normal-guy in him... clark kent – the nerd who is normal and shy... The superhero part comes later... Lois Lane should fall in love with Clark Kent not Superman...

Superhero element??

Superman is about him saving people in Earth, not about some boring story of how he came to Earth from Crypton... He saves the world yes but half of the story is about how his father sent him to earth.  And when he finally is on earth, its too gloomy... the sarcasm and the humor is missing unless at one point a woman says “i think he is hot”

Where is the lurrrveeee...

A suspicious Lois follows superman. Obviously the charm of the romance is missing. No chemistry, sigh. At least have good dialogues to cover it up? Not even a proper kiss? At somepoint they hold hands in some dessert and share a very awkward kiss.

Core Value of superman is missing. His dad dies, when he could have saved him.

Instead of creating the superhero part it gives us a tragic depressed feeling. Dad chooses to die than being rescued by a superhero son, I don’t expect it to be bollywood but oh common... it could have been better.

Superman is not about moral ambiguity but moral certainty. He worries about what to do and has doubts on how to act on it. He can’t grasp what the right thing is when the essence of his character is about doing the right thing at the right time. Not being able to bring it out in the movie is tragic.

The way he killed Zod. Unbelievably ridiculous !!

Why is superman so popular? It’s not his undies nor the cape...

It’s his ability to reach people, support them... his compassion... he was a hero for everybody... Not a man in a cape, not a disguised journalist, not just another friend, not just some lover... his character was an essence of every bit of it...

The core essence of his character... that was missing... !!!