90’s – a decade of Imperfection, Bollywood and Cheesy Romance…

Dedicated to my 90’s girls, the absolutely beautiful souls I was blessed to grow up with <3 span="">

Do you remember the 90s?

The landline phones – no CLI, you have no option but to recognize who is on the other end… so many prank calls. The free tattoos that came with bubble gum wrappers. The cassette tapes where you always have a blank tape inside so you can record your favourite song on radio.

If someone asked me to describe the 90’s in one word, I’d say ENERGETIC. No decade can ever beat the energy that the 90’s people had, even now… I will bet you anything on this.

It is the best, anyone who disagree have not lived the 90’s. The Bollywood in 90’s is something you cannot get away from…

Everything is over the top, overrated, loud and dramatic… A rich girl falls in love with a poor boy, then they dance around a tree for a song. Boy’s mother falls sick, then there is a song. There was a song for everything, there was a dance for everything.

Past few days I ended up doing a Bollywood dance with my batch mates in school for a school fundraiser. Not a dancer at all, the level of commitment I had to put in for it was high. I wanted to opt out few times, but I felt guilty. With the commitment and the level of energy the rest of them brought in, I was in no position to back off. While some of them packed their children to their inlaw’s house on the days of dancing, some of them left their children and came from Gampaha, some of them who are doctors came for practices after night shifts and some of them even practiced the dance at hospitals between patients. Some might think its crazy, yes that too was a consequence of being a 90’s girl.

Bollywood have taught us a lot, it taught us about loving your parents, loving your best friend (wink), respecting elders… it taught us the value of relationships, of letting go and holding on. It taught us to sympathise and empathise. No one could do romance better than them and no one could bring out emotions as much as them. In a funny way it has taught us about life and 20 years down the line, it still has that impact in us.

Crazy, naïve, overly romantic and silly. We didn’t have Justin Bieber back then, we had Prince William. Thanks to sweet valley obsession we made a love portion with soft drinks and ice cream from school cafeteria and swore and drank it saying ‘’William’’ the point was that Prince William needed to marry one of us. Well it was supposed to be a secret or the spell would break, I think the spell and our hearts both broke when he married Kate anyway. (One of my friends accidently said ‘’Wilson’’ instead of ‘William’ :P – only if Wilson uncle knew this)

I think we are one of the blessed decades to have received love letters (hand written ones, with scented paper) and although we might not have ‘literally’ danced around trees, we were lucky to enjoy the cheesy romance. The movies to songs, everywhere there was emotion. Heightened emotions. Even the lyrics were dramatic. ‘Najane mere dil ko kya, ho gaya… abhi tho abhi, kya abhi ho gaya….’’ Or ‘’quit playing games with my heart, I should have known from the start…’’ or ‘’my heart will go on and on…’’

90’s was not cool, it was not sexy, we didnt ‘duck face’ for photos. We had embarrassingly ugly pictures of ourselves, we had natural hair, we had imperfect shapes and tanned bodies. We didn’t have Kim Kardashains (thank god) or Edward Cullens. We had Shah Rukh Khan, we had Leonardo de Caprio (we loved his haircut – mushroom style from Titanic until every guy on the road copied it) We grew up watching real people, we were fans of people who actually inspired us.

One of the best thing about 90’s was that nothing was perfect. We never tried to be, we never tried too hard, we never tried too much, we were just ourselves.

90’s was about living the moment. It still is, even if it’s a mom with two kids or a wife – we still have that in us to live for the moment. It was a mixture of energy and emotion…

90’s was the decade which was meant to be real not to be perfect ;)

Are you Sri Lankan?

A speech I wrote for a very dear friend :P

Everywhere we travel in the world, we are questioned ‘are you Indian?’ we say NO WE ARE SRI LANKAN. No, we do not get offended because we are called ‘Indians’ but offended on the fact that we are not known as ‘Sri Lankans’. Why? Because there are so many things that make us who we are. Yes surrounded by the Indian Ocean, we have inherited many from our neighbors. From beliefs to religion or fashion to movies to food. We have inherited many by Portuguese, British and Dutch too, and the culture we live in today is a blend of all these strong nations with a flavor of our own and a spirit which can only be our ancestors’.

We love rice and curry, one thing we cannot live without. It is not about food only, whereas farming has been one of the oldest and most respected professions in my country rice and curry brings our people close. In school, during intervals, every classroom has one big parcel of rice where everyone digs into. As simple as it sounds, that has been the first step to friendship for many of us in school.

Food is a huge part in our community, food is about sharing it’s about giving and it’s also about showing your love to another. If you visit someone, in suburbs specially, there is no possible way you could leave the house without having lunch or dinner or atleast a cup of tea. It is in built, and it is a practice that you don’t leave a house without a super sweet cup of tea.

Sri Lankans have large extended families, which can be annoying sometimes when it comes to inquisitiveness of relatives for marriages and exams. We don’t travel in big packs as much as Indians, but the close knit community we have brings out the spirit and liveliness to us every day. Sri Lankans do NOT mind their own business, a bit too nosey, sometimes it is good. Because if there is a wedding or a funeral, and when your family is unable to take care of things on your own there is a whole community who would have your back, and a huge extended family to lean on to.

Talking about Sri Lanka, one thing we cannot forget. Cricket! Heritance from the British, cricket is in us, it is a part of our lives, you go to a housing scheme in any corner in the country you will see a bunch of boys playing cricket on a road, on the beach or somewhere where there is a little bit of space. Cricket is something which we were proud of, which brings us together, which used to be our stress relief from everything. Cricket is in our blood.

Sri Lanka, during the past 50 years have faced many hardships. We have lived through a war which lasted 30 years, we have lost many. Not only lives but a lot more with it.

I remember the central bank bomb blast in Colombo, it was the parents’ day in school and most of the girls were crying standing near the school gate waiting for delayed parents to turn up (not knowing if they would)

Then in 2004, we faced a tragedy– tsunami which swept away more than 30,000 lives. Recovery was hard, very hard. But we survived. Even today if you talk to a Sri Lankan about terrorism we can sympathize, we’ve known it, we’ve seen it, we’ve been through it, and we’ve survived it.

We are emotional yet tough, we are sensitive yet brave. Sri Lankans are very friendly, fun loving, quite real and extremely fierce. We live for today not for tomorrow, we cherish every breath of our lives because we know better than anyone that sometimes tomorrow might not exist.

Next time if you see someone having paint all over a face and dancing for some crazy trumpet music, or if you see a bunch singing loud offkey in a language that makes no sense,

Or if you see someone smiling through tears, laughing through the pain and defending a friend very fiercely…

Tap and ask… ‘Are you Sri Lankan?’

Happy Independence Day Sri Lanka !

Are you Sri Lankan?

A speech I wrote for a very dear friend :P

Everywhere we travel in the world, we are questioned ‘are you Indian?’ we say NO WE ARE SRI LANKAN. No, we do not get offended because we are called ‘Indians’ but offended on the fact that we are not known as ‘Sri Lankans’. Why? Because there are so many things that make us who we are. Yes surrounded by the Indian Ocean, we have inherited many from our neighbors. From beliefs to religion or fashion to movies to food. We have inherited many by Portuguese, British and Dutch too, and the culture we live in today is a blend of all these strong nations with a flavor of our own and a spirit which can only be our ancestors’.

We love rice and curry, one thing we cannot live without. It is not about food only, whereas farming has been one of the oldest and most respected professions in my country rice and curry brings our people close. In school, during intervals, every classroom has one big parcel of rice where everyone digs into. As simple as it sounds, that has been the first step to friendship for many of us in school.

Food is a huge part in our community, food is about sharing it’s about giving and it’s also about showing your love to another. If you visit someone, in suburbs specially, there is no possible way you could leave the house without having lunch or dinner or atleast a cup of tea. It is in built, and it is a practice that you don’t leave a house without a super sweet cup of tea.

Sri Lankans have large extended families, which can be annoying sometimes when it comes to inquisitiveness of relatives for marriages and exams. We don’t travel in big packs as much as Indians, but the close knit community we have brings out the spirit and liveliness to us every day. Sri Lankans do NOT mind their own business, a bit too nosey, sometimes it is good. Because if there is a wedding or a funeral, and when your family is unable to take care of things on your own there is a whole community who would have your back, and a huge extended family to lean on to.

Talking about Sri Lanka, one thing we cannot forget. Cricket! Heritance from the British, cricket is in us, it is a part of our lives, you go to a housing scheme in any corner in the country you will see a bunch of boys playing cricket on a road, on the beach or somewhere where there is a little bit of space. Cricket is something which we were proud of, which brings us together, which used to be our stress relief from everything. Cricket is in our blood.

Sri Lanka, during the past 50 years have faced many hardships. We have lived through a war which lasted 30 years, we have lost many. Not only lives but a lot more with it.

I remember the central bank bomb blast in Colombo, it was the parents’ day in school and most of the girls were crying standing near the school gate waiting for delayed parents to turn up (not knowing if they would)

Then in 2004, we faced a tragedy– tsunami which swept away more than 30,000 lives. Recovery was hard, very hard. But we survived. Even today if you talk to a Sri Lankan about terrorism we can sympathize, we’ve known it, we’ve seen it, we’ve been through it, and we’ve survived it.

We are emotional yet tough, we are sensitive yet brave. Sri Lankans are very friendly, fun loving, quite real and extremely fierce. We live for today not for tomorrow, we cherish every breath of our lives because we know better than anyone that sometimes tomorrow might not exist.

Next time if you see someone having paint all over a face and dancing for some crazy trumpet music, or if you see a bunch singing loud offkey in a language that makes no sense,

Or if you see someone smiling through tears, laughing through the pain and defending a friend very fiercely…

Tap and ask… ‘Are you Sri Lankan?’

Happy Independence Day Sri Lanka !

Drunk confession on love

This is was told to me by a drunk person whose very close to my heart, I wrote down what I remember and I don't think anyone could make such a classy honest drunk confession than this person !

Read and comment if you disagree ;)

"What is love? Can anyone define it? No.

You meet a person and you think you like him, you believe that you are in love and you make a choice to spend rest of your life with that person.

Falling in love is easy, it happens just in a click, you think you can fall in love with a person by looking at him or by listening to him talk, his accent or maybe how his hair flips or I don’t know maybe the way he eats. Its easy, you look and you think – I love him !

But what happens is, we forget, we forget that we are grown people. When we hit thirty we are a finished product. We cannot be customized, you might hate the way he eats or shower or dress, but these habits have been moulded and instilled during twenty something years.

But still you make a choice, to live with it, to live with that person despite all the irritable habits. Because by now, with years of learning and brains you tend to overlook the little things and look beyond. You look into the core of the other person, trying to understand.

Isn’t it all about understanding?

When both people have reached the same level mentally, you tend to understand and accept. Accept all the little things you don’t like, and the habits that irritate you. Why? Its not only love ! it is because you realize that he or she is a complete different person and you respect that difference.

It is all about respecting and accepting the difference.
Then you try to find the balance, that middle ground to connect. It may come from family, school, education, something maybe… Somewhere down the line you find the things that click, that connects you to the other person. Looks fade, lifesytles change… you fall out of love, you fall out of like…

And somewhere down the line, you connect deeply to the core of another person, through disagreements, arguments, fights and so many other differences,
You find a balance,

you find home...."

The girl at the Super Market... just smile with her !

I went to Keells yesterday, it was a busy Sunday with lot of shoppers walking around. There was a girl offering a certain brand as samples. She politely comes close to the people who walk by and offer the sample. Reactions were epic ! Not exactly epic but pretty weird and funny. Some just ignore and walk past, some just nod their heads and walk by. Some just smile and quickly go as if she will run behind you. Some stop and look at it, some actually take it. Most of the reactions are negative. One thing I noticed, old uncles and aunties actually stop and have a look or atleast smile. Why are people so unfriendly? I mean our generation, the generation below and above, what is it makes you so stiff that you can’t bother atleast to pause and smile. I get it, everyone is busy probably running around with thousand things in their minds. Sick children, annoying boyfriends, horrible job etc etc.

This girl who spend their weekends standing in Keells with heels has a story of her own. Okay we women know how hard it is to stand in heels, imagine standing whole day in a supermarket? It isn’t as pretty as it looks. They probably want to sleep late or watch a movie too. But certain difficulties keep them doing their part time jobs to earn that extra buck or two. Maybe it is to pay for your university or support your family while studying. None of these jobs are fulltime jobs. I was working for a PR agency sometime back, if a FMCG client wants a promotion in a super market they contact their agency give the requirement, the agency look for a third party who lend these girls. So when it comes to their pay, client negotiates, the agency keeps a cut, the third party keeps a cut. So maybe she gets about Rs. 2000 paid for the job. Most of the time the client wants feedback, why they didn’t buy, how many samples given out, why no increase in sales?

So the more they sell, no she doesnt get a commission, but she might get hired for another job again soon. The client goes through photographs of these girls, then pick a face. So how much it sucks, she has to stand looking her best with a smile all day long. A rude customer can ruin her day, maybe lose her job and a good customer can definitely keep that smile on her face for a while. It is a part and parcel of being born to a middle class generation. Whichever government comes in to power and whatever President may take the reins, the life of the ordinary people, does not really change. They live their life, running a rat race to earn that extra bit of cash.

Next time, you walk in to a super market smile at that girl who says good morning, say good morning back. Take that bloody sample – doesn’t hurt. If you can offer her feedback, do it. Don’t be that person who posts about animal rights or deaths in Syria or sign up for petitions you cannot control. Help the ones you can, charity begins at home not anywhere else. Your smile can make her day. So just do it.

A dose of ‘’Wijepala’’ – Sri Lankan in customer care at its best...

I ordered Dominos last week, they tortured me over the phone asking for directions (I was patient coz my house is not the easiest to find). They delivered after 50 minutes and the guy kept calling asking me to come walking down the lane on a rainy day. I wanted to hammer the fellow when he finally came but when I saw him I felt sorry, he seemed to be around 18 just out of school. So I tipped him and later I was told by Dominos itself that I could have gotten the discount of late arrival. Two days later, really Dominos?

Few days back I went with Lakshani to Green Cabin, we ordered 4 éclairs, 4 cream buns and some weird looking cake which she was excited about. While I was paying she was standing to get the food, the guy behind the counter who clearly had good common sense asked ‘methana kannada’’ it was a LOL moment but she politely said ‘’naha take away’’

Then at TGIF, we ordered the lunch promo, finally when the food arrived it didn’t look anything similar to the picture on the offer (which was nicely printed and laminated), so when we told the waiter that it doesn’t look like what is in the picture, he replies : ‘’ah no sir that picture is only for marketing purposes’’ I still don’t know how to react to that.

Recently at Peach Valley they brought the wrong food, the waiter didn’t seem to agree when we told him it’s the wrong order, then at Bars Café the egg koththu didn’t have egg in it, we told the waiter, he grabbed the bowl from the person while the she was eating it and took it, just like that.

Victimized several times with horrible customer service, I always feel bad to complain to the management however unacceptable the service is. I felt that the person will get fired, and I truly didn’t want a person to lose a job just like that so I always laughed it off and let it go. Plus good customer care comes from solid training given by the restaurant, that’s what I thought until I met Wijayapala.

Min Han is our dodgy little chinese spot (that’s what Gail calls it) opp Mahanama. The place is not at all posh, it had bright orangish-pinkish mixed table cloths and chairs to match. When you walk in, Wijepala comes in a flash and asks politely if we want to dine in or take away. He shows you a table, brings the menu and when we are ready to order he stands and smiles patiently waiting. He recommends what is the best dish and believe me he is spot on ! The place has about ten tables and he manages the entire place by himself. For a person around 70, he is really really fast. He comes and pores green tea (and Gail had around 4 glasses because he kept pouring and she felt bad to say no) brings in your order super-fast. He is a smiler, a pocket dynamite type of a happy go person.

His marketing skills are pretty great too. He suggests different dishes to try, and laughingly says ‘’edath oka kaawa ne miss, ada meka kaala balanna’’ (yes he remembers what you ordered before) there is something in him that you get convinced and immediately agree. The best part is he always asks you how the dish is, not in a pushy annoying way but in a very curious twinkly eyed way. Actually he is more excited about our order than we are. More concerned about how it tastes and that is exactly how it should be. No point having the best food on planet if your customer service is bad, its all about treating people right. It is clearly rocket science to many Sri Lankan restaurants because most even forget to smile.

It is very easy to please hungry people. (not if the food is crap of-course) You just need to be honest about what you have and apologize if you make mistakes. Customers don’t expect you to be perfect, they just expect you to fix things soon. If you can be humble enough to accept your mistakes, anyone will do great. Afterall we are human and mistakes are bound to happen.

Wijepala kind of walks you out too, I’m sure he is not paid great money nor he is in an age to be running around the way he does. But still he seems to be passionate about what he does.

It made me realize that finally it falls down to the person, the person who he is and if the person loves his job or not. You cannot hate your job and give it your best, you got to love what you do and do what you love.

All the restaurants and hotels in Sri Lanka, should get a dose of Wijepala soon :-)

P.S. – their food is awesome too ! (If you go to Min Han, please do tip an extra 50 bucks to him for me)