Saturday, June 21, 2014

Types of men we have to deal with in 21st century…

Sometimes you might be late to see it but eventually you will just know. The sad part is, when you fall in love with that ‘’someone’’ you think every man is a keeper. Women get all mushy and filmy that we forget to categorize or define right from wrong. We know its wrong but end up falling anyway, and end up getting hurt and broken.

 

One of the perks of being in my friends circle is having the ability to laugh at ourselves for the crazy mistakes we did in the past…

We have been a weird bunch getting attracted to the weirdest type of men who goes down in history with a bang:P

Among the types of men, we’ve met, dated and known, written below are the most common types with very few examples which can be shared in public.

This note is dedicated to all the men who confused us,liked-disliked-loved-hated us, to all the men who made us cry-laugh-live, to all of them as a tribute ;)

 

The Artist

My favourite. They will sing for you, write poems for you,make you feel that every bit of Shakespeare is written for you and every love song in the world is for you. Enjoy it, feel special, feel beautiful and filmy…BUT

Don’t ever confront him…. Because he will  confuse you and write another poem or sing another song which will keep you forever confused. When my friend confronted this guy who wrote a poem about me, he said he wrote it to his best friend’s mother. (the nightmares I had afterwards, he took our imaginations to a whole new level of him and his best friend’s mother)

 

If you want to deal with this, you need two things !! be pathetic and poetic ;)

 

The Confused Puppy

The most dangerous. This type is soo sweet, so caring and so adorable. But he is confused, he likes or is in love with more than one woman.The best part is, he is confused about it. He cheats with one on another and makes them both feel that they are the love of his life. If you get this super crazy vibe that there is some other woman, there probably is !! I had to go on a 4 hour drive stalking the man for my friend coz she had this feeling that he cheated on her :P (and he actually did; a woman’s sixth sense is rarely wrong – unless you are looney- she was a bit looney but she was right ;) and if you find out there is, (ofcourse he will never admit)he will make you think that you are crazy, and you will go on until it breaks you.

 

When you see this type, you run !! run for your life !!

 

The Total Package

He is the total package, smart, handsome, tall and successful.Did the right thing at the right age, haven’t seen much failures or failed in his life, everything has been a smooth ride. Has a house, a car and now needs a woman. The best part about him is he is in love with himself. Not just a little but head over heels. Unless you are academically qualified with MBA, have a 36’24’36 and a die for face with an excellent job at a blue chip company, stay away !!

 

Because remember, his love of his life will only be him....

 

The Ultimate Player

This type is amazing if you want to be an option but not priority. If you have dated other types and got your heart broken, this is the ideal rebound. He will boost your self confidence, lift your self esteem, in other words give you the feeling as if you are in a Spa. You feel relaxed and calm, you feel great. Remember the music in a Spa, when he speaks it is just like that, calm soothing and cozy.

 

But spa treatment is temporary so is he ;)

 

The Attention Seeker

This one is epic. He updates statuses ‘’….. at nawaloka Hospital’’ ‘’feeling sick’’ or messages or calls you with loads of bullshit to seek attention, could be a drama of his ex girlfriend, mom falling sick or uncle in hospital. Well, this one guy told me his mom is dying ofcourse I panicked and asked which hospital is she in, then he says no it was a breathing problem not a heart attack and she is discharged, so clearly she wasn’t dying.  Yes I wanted to kill him.

 

Unless you want to play god, stay away !!

 

The Ass-kisser

This one is exhausting. He will like every picture of you on facebook, he will like everything you wear, he will compliment you everyday,buy you gifts and flowers everyday, surprise you on valentines day at your workplace, buy gifts for your friends - cupcakes with their names on it :P (yes it actually happened) in other words:

 

he will kiss ass to everyone you know as if there is no tomorrow. Can you handle it?

 

The Daddy

“did you eat?’’ ‘’did you get home?’’ ‘’what time did you leave’’ ‘’what are you wearing’’ ‘’why aren’t you answering’’ never ending questions, so protective, overly caring,. Once I had 6 messages: 4 asking if I had lunch, and one telling me to have lunch and another one telling me the consequences of not having lunch. Daddy can be quite the stalker too, My friend had her ex boyfriend track her phone, so he knew exactly where she was so he didn’t have to ask.

 

You find it cute at the beginning, then the phone starts beeping non stop till you want to scream ‘’shut the hell up’’

 

The Rule Breaker

This one is adventurous, you get attracted because you need that challenge, can be quite macho (he has to be if not its an epic fail from the start) he does the bad stuff, the bad boy... the one who breaks all the rules, bunks classes to all the bad things you cant write. But unless he has a charming, really charming personality to pull it off and keep you attracted in long run it is a complete fail. Because despite the crazy chemistry, all the breaking rules become kinda lame in time to come,

And then you realize that

 

Someone who plays by the rules is sexier than someone who breaks them;)

 

I’m your friend – guy

This is what annoys me most, playing the ‘’friend’’ card is a bit overrated. Either you like someone or you dont. Playing it safe is not taking us anywhere, in-case you didnt know, women like 'bold' 'straightforward' men. We feel bad when you behave weirdly and blaming it on ''friend'' role so we keep playing the friend part even though it is awkward, until it gets out of hand and we lose a friend. If you like someone tell her, if you dont then cut the mixed signals and stay away, we cant read minds, its simple logic not rocket science.

 

‘’…. Because im your friend’’ seriously cut the crap.

 

The Ultimate Asshole

The worst. He doesn’t necessarily have to physically abuse you, cheat on you, use your money or pull a dirty trick on you. If he makes you feel bad, breaks down your self esteem and make you feel like crap, he is an asshole. If he makes you feel shitty, insecure, and pathetic all the time, trust me he is an asshole. No woman deserves to be treated like shit and no woman deserves to be broken.

 

 Ladies, he is your karma, he will break you competely. Take your time, make use of your girl therapy time. You will be okay.

 

 

The Keeper

No description needed, you just know it ;) if you find someone whose worth it, hold on to him…  

 

‘’If you love something set it free and if it comes back to you its meant to be’’

Bullshit, this is 21st century, that quote is overused and expired.

if you love something, hold on tight and don't let go but if you realize he is a psycho or a stalker then stop right there, and run for your life…

don’t ever look back !!

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Sunday, March 23, 2014

Tuk Tuk… its the story of a common man

When you are in it, you feel awesome, when you drive along with it, nothing annoys you more…

Tuk tuk wisdom quotes are something that is hard to ignore and something which always brings a smile on my face…

''Bob Marley'', ‘’Love is trash, girls need cash’’, ‘’midi koheda thiththa nari kiyai da aththa’’ ‘’chooti kello naasthi wenne naughty kello nisa’’

Some of the quotes which made me laugh when im rushing on road… Tuk guys own mobiles with hutch or etisalaat numbers with loud sinhala boot songs as their ring tones. They are chatty, updated and funny (most of the time atleast) Inside every tuk, if you notice closely is a way of living of the man in front of it, its either soo many steel bars and colourful interior… then the owner is a young guy who’s in colourful tshirt :P if you see pictures of babies, god and flowers inside then more likely the owner is a father and there is a high chance that his daughter’s and son’s name is written behind somewhere.

They are super speed, money oriented and cunning… atleast that is our perception about them… there are many times that they have surprised me and proved me wrong…

Once I left my phone (well its not million dollars but still very precious to me) inside a random tuk, while getting down at office only realizing when I went up that I left it in the tuk, came down again to see he was driving back to office with my phone, gave it to me and said "miss mama hindama hodai, wena kenek nang arang yanawa’’

One time I got into a tuk after work and when I got down I was short of Rs.200 and when I told him ill get it from home he said "miss one naha, wena dawasaka denna mama yanawa’’ofcourse I had to get his no and call and give him money back, quite effective customer relationship building ;)

Another time I had a Cinderella moment with a very old uncle in a tuk, I bought a pair of shoes on my way home, left one shoe in the tuk, had to find him when I realized one shoe is missing. Next day he came back all the way to office and gave it (when I tried to tip him) he said, "epa miss, matath miss wage duwek innawa’’ and went off.

Once I met this tuk driver who works part time after work till 11pm gets into a k-galle bus goes home and comes back in the morning. Said he needed extra cash so he works late, he too dropped me off and asked me for less than what the meter showed me, I paid extra and got off with his no :P again, excellent marketing technique – he was a good story teller, sympathy works every time ;)

Most of the time they can be annoying, they can be rude and they drive you mad…

Despite the reckless, arrogant, super night rider fast driving lies a very ordinary Sri Lankan man who for a change is passionate about his job (we can only find a handful of people happy with their jobs), they are very patriotic than most of us… They are the ones who have national flags during Independence day and despite their high robotic charges they are the ones who go out of the way to help people. During bomb blasts in Colombo, they were faster than any ambulances to take injured to hospital. If someone dies, they are the first to mourn with white flags, they are the most updated about the country, unlike many of us who are biased and commercialized, they express opinions, they fight for their rights, they fight for the country…they fight for the common man…


If you see closely you will see a very passionate person, a very ordinary Sri Lankan making a living, trying to live a peaceful life with the little money he makes, if you hear closely you will hear a heartbeat of a fellow Sri Lankan, a heartbeat of an ordinary man who fights against odds to live a better life… 
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